Only Time Will Tell...

Most Powerful Tool...

Isn't it a wonder that we humans actually possess the most powerful tool in the universe, and many a time we just don't use it to its fullest... Still wondering what it is? Well it's quite simple really... It's all in our heads... Yupz... Our brain... Isn't it a wonder how this compact, limitless hard drive can control and store so much information... From feelings to memories to knowledge... So many many things... And what's more intriguing is that it controls how we think, feel, act etc...

Just a couple of days ago, I was on 70 and it was caught in a really really huge jam because of some procession... Well that was besides the point... Well since there was nothing I could do, I started to daydream after a while... Well memories of Penang came flooding back... Well, maybe because I miss the whole experience... Hahaz... Well, I was grinning to myself and I guess everyone who saw me thought I was an Idiot... LOL... For 30min I was on cloud 9... Well after a while I was obviousy brought back to reality... And of course bliss turned to doubt about a certain issue... Well I shouldn't feel that way... But I just couldn't help it... Oh well... Haiz...

Then Friday came... LOL... Went out with Shu to shop for Marie's and Grace's birthday present... Well we had fun... Hahaz... Had to go for tuition after that... And during tuition I decided to go run... Putting on weight in the wrong places... Hahaz... Need to loose all that fat... Hahaz... Well I came home and changed and ran... Decided to go for a long jog (from home to church and back... Its about 4plus-5km... Something which I've never achieved...) Anywayz, I told myself that I had to run the whole distance... A feat that I had to accomplish... Hahaz... And I did it!!! Hahaz... Best part of it was I ran the whole way... And I bettered my 2.4 timing... Hahaz... And surprisingly, it was kinda effortless... Maybe its because of the up and down slopes at Macritchie... And also maybe because I was telling meself that I could complete it (Wise words from a marathon runner... Read it in the papers)... Hahaz... Yupz... It wasn't easy... Of course there were the stitches and all that but everytime I felt like giving up, I told myself that I'm almost finished... Well it's an achievement nonetheless... Hahaz...

See what the brain can do... Hahaz... It's just amazing... Don't underestimate that piece of tissue... It is one hell of a weapon... Hahaz... Good or bad, it's up to you to decide the way you want to use it...

{Status: Still waiting...}

Things happen for reason

The past few weeks haven't exactly been the best ever... Started with my bicycle accident... Flew off my bicycle 2 saturdays ago... Had really bad abrasions and a torn ligament in my right wrist... Then the week went by like routine... It was so so robotic... Then at Zouk my little toe got kicked at like no one business... Kinda bruised now... Haiz... Oh well... Then had cancel dinner with mum n dad on sat cuz they had something on...Then sunday came... Thought it'd be better... but no... My injuries started to increase... LOL...

Went for blood donation at St Anne's Church... The person who started the line couldn't find the vein!!! She tightened the blood pressure cuff and told me to squeeze the stress ball for a super long time and she whacked the site for God knows how long... Finally I looked at her and asked," you can't find the vein right?" Guess what her reply was... "Yes... Your veins are very small..." Here's the best part... I told her where the needle was placed during my last donation... And she just jabbed the needle in there!!! She got it started anyway... But after she put the needle in the first time, blood flowed for a bit and stopped!!!!! She then withdrew a bit of the needle and started shifting it around... While in my arm!! I was like "what the..." Anyway she finally got it and the blood flowed... Ultra slowly... Then this other HSA person came and started fiddling with the bag... She came back a 2nd time and realised (quite late actually) that no blood was going in!!! She went to tell the person who started the line and after some consultation, removed the needle... Immediately after that, 3 people attanded to me... One got the needle out, another got an ice pack and placed it over the site of entry and the last was just watching me all the time!!!! I just somehow knew something wasn't right... So I asked one of them if my vein collasped... She didn't want to give me a straight forward answer!!! So basically I guess it was BINGO!!!!! Well after that I came out with a super bruised left arm... And that wasn't all... Later that afternoon, Jillian's bag accidently poked my abrasion!!! It hurt like F***!!!!! I literally screamed!!! But thank God the wound didn't open...Maybe because of the dressing... Well Sunday came and went... Best part of that whole week was when Kevin dropped by my place even though he was super tired 'cause he was working super long hours for the past two weeks without proper rest - thanks for making the effort bao bei... :)... Well I wanted to pass him something... But that brief meeting really made the week a better one... :)...

Yesterday was worse... Had a call from Divya's mum about tuition... The thought of it really makes my blood boil... And I guess somethings are just better left unsaid... So that was that... Haiz... Oh well...

Woke up this morning... Hoping it would be better... But no... Well Shu and I went to Macritchie to run... I reached early... But since the time I left the house, I had a very queasy feeling... And while in the bus, I felt my tummy churning... That was that... The moment I reached Macritchie, I ran straight for the ladies... I thought it was the usual morning thing... But no... It turned out to bethe start of an impending diarrhoea... So anyway, we still ran... But after 1.5km of up and down slopes, I was totally gone... so bascially we just walked the rest of the way... To the treetop trail and back... On the way back, I felt the feeling coming on AGAIN!!!! Damn shitty sia... Thank God for SICC... So basically halfway in the forest, we turned around and I sprinted back to SICC's toilet... Hahaz... It was a total relief after that... But that wasn't the end... When I got home, that whole feeling started again... Sigh... So everything today had to be cancelled... Sigh... Oh well... Shit happens... But then again, I lost the tummy... Hahaz... But how long it's gonna stay that way, I don't know... LOL...

And for the record, Coke Light Rocks!!!! Hahaz...

{Status: Still waiting... :)}

Is this what love's about?

Never Say Never...

Never say never... Hahaz... Trust me on that one... Believe me, I know what can happen... Hahaz... Bottomline: never speak too soon... Hahaz... 2 years before Jon and I got together, I told Mum that I'd never date him but look what happened 2 years later... Hahaz... Used to say that I'd never smoke... Not even a puff... But just recently, I took my first few puffs... Hahaz... It was ok... I guess... LOL... And last night was the ultimate!!!!

Went clubbing at Zouk last night with a few friends... Its not the first time for me... Hahaz... Met Edwin, Jo and her boyfriend there... Hahaz... The reactions I got from them were all the same... LOL... "Hey Becks... What you doing here? I thought you don't club/party." Hahaz... Well that was the old me... Yup... I didn't like clubbing then... Used to say, "I'd never club!" LOL... But what am I doing now... Hahaz... But I dare say that i'm not your hard core clubber... Hahaz... I just look it, that's all... Well it was fun... Company was good... Drinks were good... And I tell you, I've never been as high as last night before... Even at Marcus' party at The Roxy it wasn't that bad... I was downing 2 screwdrivers, 1 vodka lime and another vodka mix - don't know what it was... It kinda glowed in the dark... Maybe because of the UV lights around... Anyone can help? - one after another... I was totally high I swear... My head was throbbing... What made things worse was I hardly ate yesterday... So basically, alcohol + empty stomach not really a good combination... Hahaz... By 2 plus, I was super duper pukey... Hahaz... So went out for some air... And decided that I'd better head home 'cause I've got tuition today... Felt totally crap in the cab... And it didn't help that the ride home was very bumpy... So what that meant was 5min away from home, I puked... And I felt so so much better after that!!! I think I could have gone for a few more rounds after that... Hahaz... Well but I was home already so that didn't really matter... The moment I got in (shivering 'cause the air con in the cab was cold and the fan at home was on full blast), I just plonked myself on the couch and KO-ed with my adidas sweater (courtsey of sweetie pie Kevin... ;P)... And the rest was history... Hahaz... I'll probably never be touching alcohol again... Hahaz... Ok Ok... I'll probably be laying off alcohol for a while... Hahaz... Definately not never... Hahaz...

{Status: Still Waiting... :)}

Growing up...

Turning 21 is sure one hell of a crazy experience... For one, we're teenagers no more... And two, responsibilities and worries start to pile up... From last year in school to career to relationships to God only knows what else... Intimidating... Well... I guess... But at the same time, it's kinda like a liberation... You can FINALLY make decisions without parental consent... LOL... Even huge huge life time decisions like getting married... LOL...

Anywayz, I was out with Shu (my best pal!!!) and we were just catching up... We haven't seen each other for like 2 months and there's been so much change... We actually talked for 4 solid hours... NON STOP... LOL... And we still have so much to tell that we haven't told yet... LOL...

Haiz... Growing up... Hahaz... Always wanted to grow up so badly... And in a blink of an eye, I'm almost 21!!!! Hahaz... And thinking back... The things that are on my mind now are starting to freak me out (OK... They're not exactly freaking me out... Just seems intimidating... That's all) But at the same time, I'm actually looking forward to them... Things like turning 21, career and marriage and all that seemed so far-fetched just 2 or 3 years ago... And now, 21's here... Career's coming next year... Marriage wise... Seriously speaking, I don't mind getting married now... But there are so many things to be settled first... And career is definately on the top of my list... Ideally, I wanna get married in the next 3 or 4 years... But i've gotta find Mr. Right first... I do have someone in mind... But I really don't know what the future has installed for us... I just hope it turns out the way I want it to be... But I guess, like he said, we've gotta leave it to fate (please bring us together... and keep us together... forever...) It's totally like a rollar coaster ride... You just don't know when the next turn, climb or plunge is... LOL... Oh well... I guess I just have to let time do its job...

Was watching the 9 o'clock show just now... Really shows what modern day families are right now... 3 different dudes... One super care-free bachelor, one married for a long time, and another married because he fathered a child before marriage... Heh... Are they really mocking marriage? Is marriage that horrible? I guess every marriage is unique in the sense that they have their own joys and problems... As for the bachelor... Well I guess being single has its advantages... But would one really want to be single forever? Is problems in a married life a justifiable excuse to not get married? I guess every one, married or not, has their own problems to handle... It's just a matter of how we want to overcome them. We're all still humans after all right? But whatever it is, I still believe that marriage is a blessing for anyone who is a part of it. It is a testimonial of love and how it brings two different people together to form this everlasting union.

I just realised that this whole entry's about marriage... LOL... Well everyone around me's getting married... And even more talking about weddings... LOL... Well I guess in time to come, it'll be my turn... It could be today, tomorrow, next week, next month, next year, next decade... I don't know... LOL... I'm ready for it when it comes... Or am I?... Well, we'll see when the time comes... ;P

{Status: Still waiting... :)}

Officially Missing You

Just For Fun

Think there's something wrong with this entry... there are some blank spaces... so to view them juz highlight it and you'll see everything... smilez... sorry...

Your Power Level is: 69%

You're a very powerful person, and you know that all of your power comes from within. Keep on doing what you're doing, and you'll reach your goals.

How Powerful Are You?

Your Extroversion Profile:

Assertiveness: Very High

Friendliness: Very High

Activity Level: High

Cheerfulness: High

Excitement Seeking: High

Sociability: High

How Extroverted Are You?

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who have a split personality - cold as ice on the outside but hot as fire in the heart. In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored. You'd like your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change. You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please. Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

You Are 56% Open Minded

You are a very open minded person, but you're also well grounded. Tolerant and flexible, you appreciate most lifestyles and viewpoints. But you also know where you stand firm, and you can draw that line. You're open to considering every possibility - but in the end, you stand true to yourself.

How Open Minded Are You?

You Are a Powdered Devil's Food Donut

A total sweetheart on the outside, you love to fool people with your innocent image. On the inside you're a little darker, richer, and more complex. You're a hedonist who demands more than one pleasure at a time. Decadent and daring, you test the limits of human indulgence.

What Donut Are You?

You Are 60% Boyish and 40% Girlish

You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch. Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes. You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them. You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.

How Boyish or Girlish Are You?

Your World View

You are a happy, well-balanced person who likes people and is liked by others. You question whether many conventional views on morality are valid under all circumstances. You are essentially a content person. Sometimes, you consider yourself a little superior. You are moral by your own standards. You believe that morality is what best suits the occasion.

What Is Your World View?

You are 87% Sagittarius

How Sagittarius Are You?

Your Dating Purity Score: 76%

You are an under-experienced dater. This doesn't mean you're unexperienced - far from it. It just means that there's a lot of romance left to discover!

Dating Purity Test

People Envy Your Energy

You've got the drive and determination to keep your life in order, and you are on track to be a huge success. People tend to envy all you've got in life, but they don't understand the work that goes behind it!

What Do People Envy About You?

You Communicate With Your Body

This isn't as bad as it sounds, it just means that you're a "touchy-feely" person. You need a lot of affection in your life. And for you, this means both giving and receiving little touches. Warm hearted, you bond with people easily. In fact, you often feel a little sad when you're not in the company of others. A little moody, you tend to be controlled by your emotions. But a bit hug always comforts you!

How Do You Communicate?

You Are More Mild Than Wild

You're confident, and you really aren't concerned with how "hot" you are. Other people's ideas of what's sexy don't concern you. And this is exactly what makes you attractive.

Are You Hot?

You Have Low Self Esteem 12% of the Time

Which can be translated to mean, you have high self-esteem and a healthy sense of self worth. You believe in yourself, and you know how to be the real you. You love yourself, imperfections and all.

How is Your Self Esteem?

Your Personality Profile

You are dependable, popular, and observant. Deep and thoughtful, you are prone to moodiness. In fact, your emotions tend to influence everything you do. You are unique, creative, and expressive. You don't mind waving your freak flag every once and a while. And lucky for you, most people find your weird ways charming!

The World's Shortest Personality Test

You Are Lightning

Beautiful yet dangerous People will stop and watch you when you appear Even though you're capable of random violence You are best known for: your power Your dominant state: performing

What Type of Weather Are You?

You're Totally Sarcastic

You sarcastic? Never! You're as sweet as a baby bunny. Seriously, though, you have a sharp tongue - and you aren't afraid to use it. And if people are too wimpy to deal with your attitutde, then too bad. So sad.

How Sarcastic Are You?

Your Driving Is is: 67% Male, 33% Female

According to studies, you generally drive like a typical male. You're confident in your driving skills, and hardly any situation gets the better of you. And while you may have a few tickets under your belt, you're still a very good driver.

Do You Drive Like a Guy or a Girl?

Caffe Vanilla Frappuccino

Smooth and sweet, you fit in to almost any crowd. No one would suspect you of being a coffee tweaker!

What Flavor Frappuccino Are You?

You Are an Excellent Cook

You're a top cook, but you weren't born that way. It's taken a lot of practice, a lot of experimenting, and a lot of learning. It's likely that you have what it takes to be a top chef, should you have the desire...

Are You A Good Cook?

Snickers

Nutty and gooey - you always satisfy.

What Kind of Candy Are You?

You Are 32% Control Freak

You have achieved the perfect balance of control and letting go. You tend to roll with whatever life brings, but you never get complacent.

Are You A Control Freak?

Your Theme Song is Beautiful Day by U2

"Sky falls, you feel like It's a beautiful day Don't let it get away" You see the beauty in life, especially in ordinary everyday moments. And if you're feeling down, even that seems a little beautiful too.

What's Your Theme Song?

How You Are In Love

You fall in love quickly and easily. And very often. You give and take equally in relationships. You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time. You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change. You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.

How Are You In Love?

You Belong in 1982

If you scored... 1950 - 1959: You're fun loving, romantic, and more than a little innocent. See you at the drive in! 1960 - 1969: You are a free spirit with a huge heart. Love, peace, and happiness rule - oh, and drugs too. 1970 - 1979: Bold and brash, you take life by the horns. Whether you're partying or protesting, you give it your all! 1980 - 1989: Wild, over the top, and just a little bit cheesy. You're colorful at night - and successful during the day. 1990 - 1999: With you anything goes! You're grunge one day, ghetto fabulous the next. It's all good!

What Year Do You Belong In?

You Are An INTP

The Thinker You are analytical and logical - and on a quest to learn everything you can. Smart and complex, you always love a new intellectual challenge. Your biggest pet peeve is people who slow you down with trivial chit chat. A quiet maverick, you tend to ignore rules and authority whenever you feel like it. You would make an excellent mathematician, programmer, or professor.

What's Your Personality Type?

You Are Cyclops

Dedicated and responsible, you will always remain loyal to your cause. You are a commanding leader - after all, you can kill someone just by looking at them. Power: force beams from your eyes

Which of the X-Men Are You?

Your Love Element Is Earth

In love, you have consistency and integrity. For you, love is all about staying grounded and centered. You attract others with your zest for life and experiences. Your flirting style is defined by setting the scene, creating a unique moment in time. Steady progress and stability are the cornerstones of your love life. You may take things too slowly, but you never put your heart at risk. You connect best with: Fire Avoid: Wood You and another Earth element: need each other too much to build a good foundation

What Element Is Your Love?

How You Life Your Life

You have a good sense of self control and hate to show weakness. You're laid back and chill, but sometimes you care too much about what others think. You prefer a variety of friends and tend to change friends quickly. You tend to dream big, but you worry that your dreams aren't attainable.

How Do You Live Your Life?

You Have a Choleric Temperament

You are a person of great enthusiasm - easily excited by many things. Unsatisfied by the ordinary, you are reaching for an epic, extraordinary life. You want the best. The best life. The best love. The best reputation. You posses a sharp and keen intellect. Your mind is your primary weapon. Strong willed, nothing can keep you down. Your energy can break down any wall. You're an instantly passionate person - and this passion gives you an intoxicating power over others. At your worst, you are a narcissist. Full of yourself and even proud of your faults. Stubborn and opinionated, you know what you think is right. End of discussion. A bit of a misanthrope, you often see others as weak, ignorant, and inferior.

What Temperment Are You?

Perhaps Love

It's a really horrible day today... Clouds are dark... Rain's pouring down... Strong winds blowing... Sigh... Just finished checking my email... And I came across this really moving story... It's about how engrossed we are in expecting our partners to do things for us our way that we overlook the little things that they do for us out of love... So here goes... Hope it moves you too...

"Story begins ......

My husband was an engineer. Since I met him, he was always an unflappable rock in my life. I knew he always had his feet firmly planted on the ground, and it seemed that no matter what else went crazy, he would be the one constant.

Three years of romance, and two years of marriage later, I got tired. He was the most unromantic man I know. He never bought me flowers, he never surprised me, and nothing changed in our marriage.

After some time, I finally found the courage to tell him that I wanted to leave him. He just sat there, speechless. My heart froze ... what kind of man was I married to that didn't even know what to say to make me stay?

After a while, he spoke, 'What can I do to change your mind?'.

'I will stay if you can give me a good answer to this question,' I replied coldly. 'If I asked for a flower that grew on a cliff, and you knew that getting it for me means certain death, would you get it for me?'

His face grew troubled. 'Can I give you an answer tomorrow morning?' he asked.

Hearing that kind of answer, my heart died. I knew that I could never be happy with a man who couldn't even give me a answer straight away.

The next morning, when I woke up, he was missing. In the living room, under a warm glass of milk, was a note. My eyes grew misty as I read it ..............

'Dear, I have my answer. I will never pick the flower for you if it meant certain death. But before you leave, I hope you can give me a chance to give you my reasons....

You will always sit in front of the computer and type about for the whole day, but everytime you will end up in tears cause your formating will always go all over the place. I need my fingers, to do the formating for you, so your tears will become smiles.

You like to travel, but would always get lost ... I need my eyes, so that I can bring you to the nicest places on earth.

Everytime you leave the house, you would always forget your keys ... I need my legs, so that I can run home to open the door for you.

You never knew how to take care of yourself ... I need my hands to help you get rid of the pesky white hair you hate so much when you grow old, to trim your nails, to feed you.

So you see, that's why I can't pick the flower for you. Until I find someone who loves you more than I do, I will need my body to take care of you. If you accept my reasons, then open the door, where I will be waiting with your favourite muffin.'

With tears streaming from my eyes, I opened the door, and there he stood, with a extremely worried look on his face. He still had nothing to say, but just stood there waving the packet he had in his hand in front of me. And then I knew for a fact that I will never find another man who will ever love me as much as he does."

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean that they don't love you with all they have...

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To Kevin:

I won't dare say that I totally understand what you are going through but I dare say that I'll be here for you no matter what. If you need someone to talk to, I'm only a phone call away. If you feel lonely or down and out, well I'm only 10 minutes away from you. I will make time for you. I'll wait for you because I believe you are worth waiting for and also because I love you. Do what you have to do and when you're ready, we'll continue what we started. Meanwhile, I will be missing you heaps and I will always be thinking of you. I love you lots...

{Status: Waiting}