Day 22 of OBO... Shit...
3 weeks have gone by... And another 13 remain... It seems like a long time since you left... But it only has been 22 days... Sigh... Time is passing so slowly again... Haiz...
Anyway, I (or we rather) didn't have the best start today at all... It just had to start the way it did... Sigh... It really sucks... My whole day was totally ruined... Honestly speaking, I was very pissed off and extremely hurt by what you said to me early this morning... I felt that all that was uncalled for... Maybe I was a bit too extreme... But what really shocked me most was the fact that you actually doubted the love I had for you! And I can't believe that you would actually talk about me breaking up with you! And when you said that everyone in the room was looking at you as if you were a bastard and you're damn annoyed by that, that was it for me... I was F-ing pissed off when you said that... You have absolutely no idea how much that angered me... Seriously... At that point of time, the only thing I could think about is 'So now saving your face matters more than anything else?!'... I doubt you have any idea about what happened after we got cut off... I just felt like pulling my hair out or just doing something to get all that anger and frustration and hurt out of me...
Anyway, I didn't have a good sleep... Even while sleeping I'm being tormented by images of you having to stay much longer than expected and all that... It F-ing hell sucks! I woke up this morning still burning with anger... That's when you called and apologised... But even then, you still think I'm obsessed with you and that is not love! What the hell! Haven't I already made this sacrifice to let you go and fulfil your goals? Haven't I been there for you, pushing you when you need pushing, encouraging you when you felt lost, standing by you in everything you do? Is it wrong to be concerned about the person who's most important to you? Is it wrong to worry about the person you love so much when he's in an undesirable situation? Is all that wrong? Why am I being penalised for caring and being concerned? Why? Anyway, we spoke (but I still don't think it's been sorted out properly) but got cut off half way... I thought you would call back... But you didn't... So anyway, I went to wash up... Had a really bad tummy ache after that... I just seem to be getting really bad tummy cramps in the mornings... And there seems to be a lot of trapped wind in me... Sigh...
Anyway, I went to the novena with Jillian this morning... For the past 3 weeks that I've been attending the novena, everything that is preached during the homily somehow just relates to everything that's happening there and then... The first week which I attended, I had a lot of things on my mind... First was you and then the next was my police offer... I didn't know whether to take it or not... Well the answer was very clear... The 1st sentence of the prayer which was said was asking God for help when making tough decisions, which was what I needed... Last week's was about being happy and contented with what you have... And today's was about changing... When I heard that, all I could think about was our argument... You may call it coincidence... I'd like to call it divine intervention... Well I believe that God speaks in different ways to us... We just need to 'surrender' ourselves to him so that we are able to hear what he has to say...
Anyway, after novena, we went for lunch... Had chicken rice at Square 2... It was quite normal... The chicken and the barley was good... But the chicken rice wasn't fantastic... It lacked ginger and sesame oil... Sat there till about 1245hrs before we headed to town... Nothing much there... The usual things... I wanted to go to the bear workshop at Suntec to check out their prices so that I can figure out how much I need to put aside to complete surprise No 2... So ya... After we got bored of Suntec, we walked over to Marina Square... Window shopped for a while before heading to Esplanade to catch a bus to church... I slept on the bus... When I reached church, I had a splitting headache (it's still here now... I'm just hoping it's not TSS)... But things still had to go on... So went for choir practice and then for mass... Commentated today... And it was like shit! Today really just isn't good for me at all!
After mass, I took a cab to Andy's birthday... Mei Mei, Jie Jie, Kevin, Maryann, Kait Kait and Theresa were there... Well we had dinner and the usual stuff... Then there was a piano there... You'd never believe the brand of the piano... The brand's 'Albert'... Then Kevin, being Kevin, started saying, 'Hey Becks, go play Albert, caress Albert, hit Albert's notes...' You get the picture... Yup... Well it's just so so coincidental... You can't be with us, but at the same time, you're here with us via a piano... Haha... Anyway, the party went on... And being a birthday, Andy got sabo-ed by being thrown into the pool by his friends... That's when you called... So ya... And that was about the time you called... So ya...
Well that was basically my horrible day... I just hope tomorrow will be better... And I hope you call soon... 'Cause there are things we need to sort out... So... I love you (even though you've hurt me really badly)... And I miss you lots!
Anyway, I (or we rather) didn't have the best start today at all... It just had to start the way it did... Sigh... It really sucks... My whole day was totally ruined... Honestly speaking, I was very pissed off and extremely hurt by what you said to me early this morning... I felt that all that was uncalled for... Maybe I was a bit too extreme... But what really shocked me most was the fact that you actually doubted the love I had for you! And I can't believe that you would actually talk about me breaking up with you! And when you said that everyone in the room was looking at you as if you were a bastard and you're damn annoyed by that, that was it for me... I was F-ing pissed off when you said that... You have absolutely no idea how much that angered me... Seriously... At that point of time, the only thing I could think about is 'So now saving your face matters more than anything else?!'... I doubt you have any idea about what happened after we got cut off... I just felt like pulling my hair out or just doing something to get all that anger and frustration and hurt out of me...
Anyway, I didn't have a good sleep... Even while sleeping I'm being tormented by images of you having to stay much longer than expected and all that... It F-ing hell sucks! I woke up this morning still burning with anger... That's when you called and apologised... But even then, you still think I'm obsessed with you and that is not love! What the hell! Haven't I already made this sacrifice to let you go and fulfil your goals? Haven't I been there for you, pushing you when you need pushing, encouraging you when you felt lost, standing by you in everything you do? Is it wrong to be concerned about the person who's most important to you? Is it wrong to worry about the person you love so much when he's in an undesirable situation? Is all that wrong? Why am I being penalised for caring and being concerned? Why? Anyway, we spoke (but I still don't think it's been sorted out properly) but got cut off half way... I thought you would call back... But you didn't... So anyway, I went to wash up... Had a really bad tummy ache after that... I just seem to be getting really bad tummy cramps in the mornings... And there seems to be a lot of trapped wind in me... Sigh...
Anyway, I went to the novena with Jillian this morning... For the past 3 weeks that I've been attending the novena, everything that is preached during the homily somehow just relates to everything that's happening there and then... The first week which I attended, I had a lot of things on my mind... First was you and then the next was my police offer... I didn't know whether to take it or not... Well the answer was very clear... The 1st sentence of the prayer which was said was asking God for help when making tough decisions, which was what I needed... Last week's was about being happy and contented with what you have... And today's was about changing... When I heard that, all I could think about was our argument... You may call it coincidence... I'd like to call it divine intervention... Well I believe that God speaks in different ways to us... We just need to 'surrender' ourselves to him so that we are able to hear what he has to say...
Anyway, after novena, we went for lunch... Had chicken rice at Square 2... It was quite normal... The chicken and the barley was good... But the chicken rice wasn't fantastic... It lacked ginger and sesame oil... Sat there till about 1245hrs before we headed to town... Nothing much there... The usual things... I wanted to go to the bear workshop at Suntec to check out their prices so that I can figure out how much I need to put aside to complete surprise No 2... So ya... After we got bored of Suntec, we walked over to Marina Square... Window shopped for a while before heading to Esplanade to catch a bus to church... I slept on the bus... When I reached church, I had a splitting headache (it's still here now... I'm just hoping it's not TSS)... But things still had to go on... So went for choir practice and then for mass... Commentated today... And it was like shit! Today really just isn't good for me at all!
After mass, I took a cab to Andy's birthday... Mei Mei, Jie Jie, Kevin, Maryann, Kait Kait and Theresa were there... Well we had dinner and the usual stuff... Then there was a piano there... You'd never believe the brand of the piano... The brand's 'Albert'... Then Kevin, being Kevin, started saying, 'Hey Becks, go play Albert, caress Albert, hit Albert's notes...' You get the picture... Yup... Well it's just so so coincidental... You can't be with us, but at the same time, you're here with us via a piano... Haha... Anyway, the party went on... And being a birthday, Andy got sabo-ed by being thrown into the pool by his friends... That's when you called... So ya... And that was about the time you called... So ya...
Well that was basically my horrible day... I just hope tomorrow will be better... And I hope you call soon... 'Cause there are things we need to sort out... So... I love you (even though you've hurt me really badly)... And I miss you lots!
posted by Rebecca at 11:06:00 pm
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