Day 8 of OBO... One week down... 15 more to go...
Well it's been 15 minutes since we hung up... It's a little past midnight... I know this should have been Saturday's entry... But oh well... Anyway, this week has been one week of hell for me... It's tough getting used to being without you... Sigh... Haven't been eating properly, having headaches and nausea, haven't been able to sleep well, crying everyday... You name it, I've felt it...
Anyway, I woke up 3times last night... Once at 0140hrs, another at 0630hrs and another at 0745... At 8 plus when I woke up, I was just sick and tired of not being able to go back to sleep... And during those three times when I woke up, I just had an anxiety attack... I woke up having heart palpitations and difficulty breathing... It's damn shit really... Anyway, so I woke up and went to check and send out my emails and also went to check out the accounting course... It'll take me another 3years or so to be a certified accountant... That's too long... Besides, my priority now, now that I've finished my degree, is to get a job and settle down by 25 latest... This brings me to my police force application...
I went for my last interview on Wednesday and got the call from them on Thursday about me making it through the interview... But honestly, after the interview, I was having doubts about signing on there... I know it's really ironic because I've always been so on about it... Well that whole interview set me thinking... So basically I was deliberating whether I should carry on or turn them down... Well that really took a toll on me... Until yesterday, when I couldn't take it anymore, I just broke down... So I spoke to my parents, god-bro and music teacher about it... Well my god-bro said to sleep over it while my parents and music teacher said to pray over it... So that's precisely what I did... I slept over it and went to Novena Church (you have to follow me there when you come home... You'd not understand it's 'power' until you experience it... You don't have to take part in what's going on... But there's no harm if you want too... Just believe that your prayers will be answered... Faith is all you need...) this afternoon to pray for your safety and over this decision... I asked Mother Mary and Jesus to keep you safe from all danger and harm and to bring you back safely, and also asked them to help me be strong for you and give me a sign as to which road I should take... Well I went for mass this evening and during the Homily (it's like a reflection), the priest opened up an offer to all youths between the age of 16-24 to go on a mission trip to an orphanage in Thailand at the end of the year... When I heard that, I somehow knew that was it... It's a real wonder how God speaks to us... Anyway, I figured that once I started work, I wouldn't be able to go on such mission trips anymore, and the experience I'm going to get is more worth it than the money I'll get if I sign on with the police force... So there you have it... I won't be signing on anymore... And should I like the things I do while I'm in Thailand, I might consider social work as a career... So ya...
Anyway, after that, I went over to Jill's place to eat... Today's the only day I actually ate... I had Gado-Gado and Kong Bak Pao... Her granny's a really good cook... Really yummy stuff... But after that, I felt weird... I felt like puking and almost blacked out when I stood up... I also felt unusually tired and restless... So after that, we walked to church for choir practice and mass... During practice, I felt my tummy churning... Then after I could not tahan any longer, I ran to the toilet... I had diarrhoea... Everything I ate during lunch came out... Plus there was a hell of a lot of wind... I swear the pain was unbearable... But after all that, I felt much much better... Still nauseous with chest pains and short of breathe, but at least my tummy didn't hurt as bad... Well after mass, I went out for dinner with mum and her parents ( = my grandparents)... I had Chee Cheong Fun and a bit of satay for dinner... After a while, I started getting a headache... It was at the back of my head... I swear I just wanted to puke... It was terrible... It feels like I'm pregnant la... Shit man... So ya...
Well, that was my day... Apart from the morning attacks, the nausea and occasional shortness of breathe, the headache, and the hurt I feel when I think about or pray for you, my day was relatively alright... Well that's comparing it to the past week from hell... I just hope it's not a temporary thing... And I just pray that from today onwards, time will just fly by me... That's all I'm hoping and praying for... And of course not forgetting YOURS and my safety during our respective missions... I love you baby... I'm always thinking of you... And I miss you just as much as you miss me!!!!!!!!!!!! And I will wait for you... The "100% and more devoted to Becky" you... Like I've always been since the day I fell in love with you... And we will get married and live happily ever after... Or at least I hope and pray it will be like that in the near future... *One big. long, wet, tonguey kiss* *Muackz muackz* *Hugz hugz*...
P.S: Apologies to those who felt awkward reading that last part... It's meant for my darling as you would have figured by now... This is our only way to communicate with each other and keep each other posted on what's happening in our daily lives... But feel free to 'roll' in the love it comes along with... But you know it's meant for, and only for, my darlingest Albert...
Anyway, I woke up 3times last night... Once at 0140hrs, another at 0630hrs and another at 0745... At 8 plus when I woke up, I was just sick and tired of not being able to go back to sleep... And during those three times when I woke up, I just had an anxiety attack... I woke up having heart palpitations and difficulty breathing... It's damn shit really... Anyway, so I woke up and went to check and send out my emails and also went to check out the accounting course... It'll take me another 3years or so to be a certified accountant... That's too long... Besides, my priority now, now that I've finished my degree, is to get a job and settle down by 25 latest... This brings me to my police force application...
I went for my last interview on Wednesday and got the call from them on Thursday about me making it through the interview... But honestly, after the interview, I was having doubts about signing on there... I know it's really ironic because I've always been so on about it... Well that whole interview set me thinking... So basically I was deliberating whether I should carry on or turn them down... Well that really took a toll on me... Until yesterday, when I couldn't take it anymore, I just broke down... So I spoke to my parents, god-bro and music teacher about it... Well my god-bro said to sleep over it while my parents and music teacher said to pray over it... So that's precisely what I did... I slept over it and went to Novena Church (you have to follow me there when you come home... You'd not understand it's 'power' until you experience it... You don't have to take part in what's going on... But there's no harm if you want too... Just believe that your prayers will be answered... Faith is all you need...) this afternoon to pray for your safety and over this decision... I asked Mother Mary and Jesus to keep you safe from all danger and harm and to bring you back safely, and also asked them to help me be strong for you and give me a sign as to which road I should take... Well I went for mass this evening and during the Homily (it's like a reflection), the priest opened up an offer to all youths between the age of 16-24 to go on a mission trip to an orphanage in Thailand at the end of the year... When I heard that, I somehow knew that was it... It's a real wonder how God speaks to us... Anyway, I figured that once I started work, I wouldn't be able to go on such mission trips anymore, and the experience I'm going to get is more worth it than the money I'll get if I sign on with the police force... So there you have it... I won't be signing on anymore... And should I like the things I do while I'm in Thailand, I might consider social work as a career... So ya...
Anyway, after that, I went over to Jill's place to eat... Today's the only day I actually ate... I had Gado-Gado and Kong Bak Pao... Her granny's a really good cook... Really yummy stuff... But after that, I felt weird... I felt like puking and almost blacked out when I stood up... I also felt unusually tired and restless... So after that, we walked to church for choir practice and mass... During practice, I felt my tummy churning... Then after I could not tahan any longer, I ran to the toilet... I had diarrhoea... Everything I ate during lunch came out... Plus there was a hell of a lot of wind... I swear the pain was unbearable... But after all that, I felt much much better... Still nauseous with chest pains and short of breathe, but at least my tummy didn't hurt as bad... Well after mass, I went out for dinner with mum and her parents ( = my grandparents)... I had Chee Cheong Fun and a bit of satay for dinner... After a while, I started getting a headache... It was at the back of my head... I swear I just wanted to puke... It was terrible... It feels like I'm pregnant la... Shit man... So ya...
Well, that was my day... Apart from the morning attacks, the nausea and occasional shortness of breathe, the headache, and the hurt I feel when I think about or pray for you, my day was relatively alright... Well that's comparing it to the past week from hell... I just hope it's not a temporary thing... And I just pray that from today onwards, time will just fly by me... That's all I'm hoping and praying for... And of course not forgetting YOURS and my safety during our respective missions... I love you baby... I'm always thinking of you... And I miss you just as much as you miss me!!!!!!!!!!!! And I will wait for you... The "100% and more devoted to Becky" you... Like I've always been since the day I fell in love with you... And we will get married and live happily ever after... Or at least I hope and pray it will be like that in the near future... *One big. long, wet, tonguey kiss* *Muackz muackz* *Hugz hugz*...
P.S: Apologies to those who felt awkward reading that last part... It's meant for my darling as you would have figured by now... This is our only way to communicate with each other and keep each other posted on what's happening in our daily lives... But feel free to 'roll' in the love it comes along with... But you know it's meant for, and only for, my darlingest Albert...
posted by Rebecca at 12:03:00 am
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